Friday, July 15, 2011
MARRIAGE - MISUNDERSTOOD MANDATES
“Marriage is a fierce battle before which the two partners ask heaven for its blessing, because loving each other is the most audacious of enterprises; the battle is not slow to start, and victory, that is to say freedom, goes to the cleverest.” - Honoré De Balzac.
From time to time, the elder generations have tried to pass over the so-called secrets of successful marriage to their children. Unaware that those myths had created troubles for them and might continue to serve as a threat to the newly weds also, its time to know commonly misunderstood mandates and the problems resulting from them.
• Understand your partner
• Appreciate always
Mistakes in marriage life:
1. UNDERSTAND YOUR PARTNER:
It is believed that understanding one another is the essence of marriage. To know your spouse and to give enough space and time for personal reasons is fine. But, we end up accepting the other half just the way he/she is and tolerate everything. Srimathi got married at the age of 20, immediately after her graduation. She knew nothing about household chores. Her husband Anand understood her limitation. To encourage her, he appreciated all that she did, no matter how bad it was, especially cooking. Srimathi was feeling blessed to have got him as her better half.
After 30 years of married life, Srimathi still finds it difficult to mentally calculate the quantity of salt required for making vegetable pulao. As she knows that her husband will tolerate all that she makes, she doesnt mind even if it goes wrong, EVERY TIME!
There is another instance. Prem was a procrastinator by nature. He never kept up appointments and meetings. Shilpa, thinking she understood the nature of her husband, started going late to office because of Prem. It was only when Prem’s appraisal got denied, she understood that she had failed to prompt her husband to raise up to the common expectations.
2. APPRECIATE ALWAYS:
All of us crave for appreciation. Praise can flatter all kinds of people and make them feel good. Hence it is wise to appreciate your partner for all good deeds. However, this principle is mistaken by some of us by the addition of a four-letter word ONLY.
Niwas was a very caring husband. He used to appreciate his wife and adore her often. Somehow, things seemed to go wrong after his son’s marriage and there was misunderstanding in the family. He shared this with his close friend Kumar whom he had invited for lunch that afternoon. Kumar assured to help him with the issue. At lunch, Mrs. Niwas served food and he praised his wife as a great cook. After lunch, when the daughter-in-law brought payasam for them, Niwas made a remark that the sugar was slightly more and the dish could have been better. Kumar realized the reason for the misunderstanding in the family.
These are just a few samples. There are many more such issues that needs to be addressed. If all of us start adopting a straight forward approach towards solving such problems, the understanding among family members is sure to multiply manifold.