Friday, March 27, 2015

Way to go, deary!

Incident #1: I was busy helping my sister-in-law in Chennai to choreograph (if I can call that one) for a tamil song to be performed by the apartment boys on the occasion of new year's eve. There was a rap portion by Hard Kaur, and we were wondering who could be the right fit. I asked my daughter and she refused instantly. It's not easy to persuade her and I gave in. We kept practicing and my daughter kept watching. We decided to delete the rap portion but forgot to do so. The previous day I asked my daughter again and she agreed half-heartedly. The next evening, she took the stage by storm as she did it with much ease and natural style. I told her father who was in Bangalore. He asked her why she said no initially. Her answer stunned me. "Had I told mom that I would be doing it, she would have made me practice too hard and I didn't want to ruin my holidays dancing monotonously".

Incident #2: Daughter got selected for Spell Bee contest and I was rummaging through all relevant materials to practice. She would also have to talk for a given topic on the spot. I thought of a few expected ones and asked her what she would say on those. The answer was an immediate "I don't know". Patience mommy, I told myself. " Well, let me see what I would have told if I were you" I said. She listened without questioning and fell asleep in a few minutes. The day before her competition, I told her father to help her with some common topics as he was putting her to bed. "Daddy, don't listen to mommy. If you are going to talk about it, I am not going to listen, OK?" She said firmly. He threw a helpless glance at me as I stared at her. Next day after the contest, we got to know that the topic was one I had discussed. " Hey, did you tell about R, your close friend as we discussed the other day?", I jumped. "No.I talked about M " came the reply. She was not going to tell me what she had said.

Incident #3: Dance competition announced in school. I wanted to try. I downloaded 'Let it go' from the movie Frozen for it's inspiring lyrics. Although it was not a peppy dance number, I knew it suited my daughter best (I-me-myself type). As expected, she didn't like the song and the fact that she had to use props throughout the song made her frown. "Let's make a deal. You dance each line after I show you how to do it two times. Deal?" I asked. She nodded. As I danced, she lied down on the couch, legs stretched. I was getting irritated but had to do it. I dance twice, she does once and this was how it went on everyday. D-day arrived and she did it pretty well. Though she loves dancing, I know she isn't great. Surprisingly she won the first prize, more so because of the appropriate usage of props, song choice and timing, I felt.

During these incidents, she disliked one thing a lot. It was the word 'competition'. Whenever I said it, she showed disinterest. One day, she spelled out her fear. "Mom, what if I lose? Wont I get anything? They wont clap for me?" she asked. And the question "what if I lose?" reappeared several times. I found it a little too much for I had thought kids never feared failure. I had to reassure her and make her understand that trying with all might mattered, nothing else. And she did.

I know she isn't like me when I was young, trying to impress the one in the front. She does what she likes and never pretends. Many a times, I have felt sad for her carefree attitude. But sometimes I feel this is a better way to be happy. I wish she grows up with the right spirit and leads a life of her dreams. By the way, my daughter is 5 years now and is finishing her Jr.Kg.

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