Choose the Best or Fill in the Blanks?

A couple of years ago, we had gone shopping to the neighborhood mall. My eight-year old daughter excitedly rummaged through the kids section and tried to touch and feel every dress. She picked a shimmering sequin top and showed it to me with a broad smile. I gave a firm 'NO'.  She quietly left the spot. After a few minutes, I called her and asked, "Honey, which one of these do you like?". She touched one and walked away. I felt bad. On our way back home, I reopened the topic. "Why are you upset?  I bought the dress you chose." Her reply changed my perception for life.

"When YOU CHOOSE a few things that YOU LIKE and expect me to pick one ONLY FROM THAT LOT, its YOUR CHOICE and not mine. If only you had allowed me to get the one I SHOWED, it would have been MY CHOICE."

All this time, I had thought that I was giving my daughter the freedom and right to choose from the shortlisted, best options. It never struck me that I was imposing my taste irrespective of the choice at the end of the decision. Imagine the situation in a middle-class Indian house a good three decades ago. Children were proud that they had a say in decisions concerning them - education, career, marriage etc. We always found it easier to choose the best from the given options than filling in the blanks. The reason being, we thought we could never conceive THE ONE BEST ANSWER ourselves. Interestingly, those questions never had just ONE BEST ANSWER...

Reminded of Robert Frost's 'The Road Not Taken', I would like to share an extract from the poem.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference. 

Today when we go out for shopping, I give my daughter an overview of the purpose of purchase. I let her bring in the options and reason out why I approve or disapprove something. "No sleeveless as its going to be winter"; "Too many green pants already at home"; "Navika has an entire collection of Geronimo which she happily lends, so any other book is fine".  I still dish out my options but leave the final decision to her provided it meets the basic purpose. Toys or gifts have a budget and she could choose anything within the specified amount. Of course, a little over and above is always fine.

Well, what's your pick in life?
Choosing, filling or detailing?
This, that or something you would love to create all by yourself?

Search for Middle Ground

Of late I seem to have a trouble,
Unable to decide the next course of action...
Plan A sounds ways too simple,
While plan B is rife with doubts on execution...
Should I continue with the current complacency
Or challenge my capabilities and try anew?
Do I conform with the 'keep-going' majority
Or stick to my 'unpopular-yet-original' point of view?

My perceptions of opportunities have become bipolar,
It looks either utterly utopian or grossly exploitative...
I don't share C's ideologies,
As they seem too naive.
Does that mean I agree with D's philosophies?
Oh no, I can only give a wry smile.
My sensibilities question everything today,
Unconvinced with explanations given by all and sundry...
Is there someone who could throw more light?
Or just to pacify this worrying soul,
Is there someone who's experiencing a similar  plight?

Reflections on the Year that went by

The earth has completed one full revolution marking the end of another year. 2018 was a year of challenges for me. I quit my job owing to my frequent illness and my guilt of spending lesser family time especially with my kid. Before donning the perfect mother hat, I had to take up the role of responsible daughter. 

My mother was critically ill and we as a family tried our level best to bring her back to normalcy. Those days were busy rushing to hospital and helping mother in all ways possible. Nights were scary. As medical practitioners would call it, by God's grace, a medical miracle happened and she recovered. I returned to my routine, leaving her at home town. I had trouble sleeping at nights, thinking about her agony. She didn't last for more than a couple of months. After my mother passed away, there was a sudden calm and a surprising peace in me. I no longer had to worry out of helplessness. This serenity too was short - lived. The eerie silence made me act weird. I had always wondered how children without parents could be  normal and playful. I now know the answer. As there is none to lend a shoulder to cry on or say a word of appreciation, one tries hard to make the best out of every celebratory mood. 

The emptiness at the bottom of the heart did bother me. Also, my ailing grandmother whose memory was slowing fading away, was a case of concern. As a child of working mother, I had spent most of my holidays and vacation with my grandmother. I convinced myself that her nature to seek pleasure in little earthly delights would keep her going. During the last week of December, she passed away. Two significant people of my childhood were gone for good. 

I am yet to rediscover my lost enthusiasm, although I seem to be trying hard to move on. I wish I come to terms with reality and find the bigger purpose of my life at the earliest. 

Art of Giving

As I walk back home with my vegetable bag, I see many green tomatoes waiting to ripen in their balcony pots. Pigeons that once used to fly away at the slightest change in status quo, now boldly fight with one another to sit on the grill window. The crowded departmental store seems to seriously think of dedicating an exclusive row for organic cereals and pulses. Something is changing.

When I open Rediff news, all that captures my attention is this: 'X quits high paying corporate job to teach under privileged children'; 'Meet Y who is the reason behind the smile of tribal women in Assam'; 'Z returns to India to train youngsters of his village in entrepreneurship skills'. The Hindu daily features articles on people who have taken to reviving traditional art forms and engaging skilled local craftsmen. Something is changing.

Image Courtesy: www.behappy-2.com

We have Chotta Bheem and Hanuman for cartoon watching (despite the poor spoken English with mother tongue influence) in the place of Dora and Superman. Bookstores have more of Indian writing on mythological characters instead of Harry Potter and the like. Awareness on the need to construct houses with local sustainable green materials has increased. We segregate waste based on biodegradability.  Handmade terra cotta or paper quilled jewellery is a fashion statement. Something is changing.

Our fast paced consumption pattern has slowed down as indicated by the vacant shops in empty malls. A sense of guilt has struck the masses. It's time to learn the art of giving to live peacefully. I know this is just the beginning and a long journey awaits us. Nevertheless, we have decided to start. Giving back to nature, country and mankind at large is a responsibility bestowed upon us. Learn to give so that your children live to give it back to theirs.

The month that passed by

April-May seems to be a tough time for mothers. Those 60 days that were our childhood desires throughout the year turned out to be dreadful dreams. I had to agree on a few honest attempts made to spend quality time with the girl initially. She too was excited. Interest waned for the two of us as time passed. Nevertheless, we lazied around and now are waiting for the academic schedule to keep us on our feet in the coming months. To the more serious segment of the post, here goes my 'points to ponder' from these days.

• I was browsing through the Internet on April 25th as usual when I saw a birthday doodle. Least interested, I continued. Minutes before exiting, my pointer indicated to the doodle and guess what?! It read 'happy birthday Vaishnavi'. I was more perplexed than pleased as Google was the last person (?) I expected to wish me on my birthday. When I returned from my visit to Madurai, home town, Google+  mailed, " Vaishnavi, you have a story to share". The entire journey pictures were chronologically arranged and displayed in slides.  Now, I am not a very public person wanting to tell the world all I do. My Facebook account deletion 2 years ago justifies this (not considering the occasional logins through spouse account :). Are we becoming way too visible even without wanting to? Today's article in The Hindu titled 'The big data conundrum' throws more light on the topic. Right from the government's policies such as Aadhar card to internet requirements of personal details for every single transaction, validates the fact that  'you are being watched'. Beware folks, it's not just your dubsmash video that you upload in Fb that is seen, but also the secret birthday bash you celebrated in the pub with your chosen few.

• "Whatsappening ?" I yelled of late.  Yes, too much of whatsapping left me laughing over a few funny things. Too many groups and you lose account of the conversation loop. 'Congrats SI, You have lost weight' messaged AA. ' Thanks dear' came the reply. I was wondering why SI didnot look so to me when I met her yesterday. Later did I realize that it was SI from college group who had lost weight and AAs were numerous to rememember. The prompt commentor no matter what is posted ( I wonder if she ever reads , for the emoticons appear nanoseconds after the post), the benign wellwisher ( happy bday to A's cousin's daughter who is my Fb friend), the reposter ( copy paste copy paste, oops that was not meant for this group), the who-knows-who non-participant ( dude, who the hell added me here), the gracious greeter (today is the day, gm; if not today tomorrow, gn), the list goes on. 

Not happy: Paula Cochrane has been hit with a staggering £1,200 phone bill after texting hundreds of smiley face emoticon symbols that weren't included in her 'unlimited' £31-a-month contract. Read full message from website.

Picture message from dailymail.co.uk

• The power of advertising was seen again at home. An exclusive tamil message for those who understand.

        ஐந்து வயது மகள் இரண்டு ஆண்டுகளுக்கு முன்பு நேச்சர் பவர் சோப்பு விளம்பரம் பார்த்து வாங்க சொன்னாள்; சிரித்தேன். ஒரு வருடம் முன்பு டேபிள் மேட் விளம்பரம் பார்த்து வாங்க சொன்னாள்; சிந்தித்தேன். இந்த வருடம் சென்னை அமிர்தா காலேஜ் ஆப் ஹோட்டல் மேனேஜ்மென்ட் விளம்பரம் பார்த்துக் கொண்டிருக்கிறாள். ஷாக் ஆயிட்டேன் அவ்வ்வ்வ்வ்....

Happy digital living, readers!

What a comedy!

To relax and refresh from the mundane routine, human beings could have resorted to comedy in the olden days. Irony, satire, self-deprecating humor, stand-up and now it has taken the form of a roast.
The recent AIB knockout live show broadcast on YouTube featured Karan Johar as the roast master with a panel of stand-up comedians attempting to roast Bollywood actors Ranveer Singh and Arjun Kapoor. It was known as insult comedy wherein the humor intended at the roastees was absolutely outrageous and outright adult insult. There were controversies and discussions as to the language used and overall decency of the content. As I had watched a few live stand-up comedies and this had a prior warning, it did not irk me as much as my initial tryst with such genres. In fact, I found some interesting details that needs to be shared.

FOR AN INSULT TO BE CONSIDERED AS COMEDY, ITS GOTTA BE MUTUAL
 Yes. That is a prerequisite and the show did complete justice to it. Not only did the panelists make fun of each other, but also the roasters were given the opportunity to mock at the panelists and the roast master. I insult you, you call me names and we laugh together like a .... well, that's it.

FUN IN THE FRONT
Criticize one in the front and praise him/her at the back goes an old adage. AIB Knockout ensured that most of the individuals who might get roasted along with the roastees like Deepika Padugone, Sonakshi Sinha, Alia Bhatt, occupied the front seats and were ridiculed generously. In doing so, you avoid being branded as backbiters.

One of the panelists, Aditi Mittal has to be congratulated for being in the panel itself as the single lady and for trying out some serious humor. To know why it is so, you can see my post here. Having said that, a few that didn't go too well needs a mention too. Though one appreciates humor intended at oneself, none ROFL. Ranveer's overreacting with not-so-funny facial expressions and gestures accompanied by Arjun Kapoor copying him seriously acted as spoilers. And Ranveer, didn't you learn from your panelists that you are not supposed to laugh at your own jokes though you might, at jokes on you? A little less of humor on racism, appearance substituted with more on personality sans cussing and gestures might have lessened the trouble the show had to undergo. Nevertheless, it was a trial in a traditional Indian context and it was pretty well executed. As to the controversies, I second Karan's tweet. You always have a choice dude.

Image courtesy: www.india.com

INTEResting Story TELLAR

When I intend to watch a movie, I avoid reading reviews, as they tend to give away the entire story sans climax. When Interstellar was released, I was told to read a few reviews as the director is known for handling multiple complex concepts in his movies, and understanding them completely, without the initial preparation would be tough. So, I did. Interestingly, none of the reviews dealt with the story in-depth but dwelt more on the director's personality, his style of narration and the emotional part of the film. After watching the movie yesterday, I realized that it was not the discretion of the review writers to hold back the complete story but just that it simply CANNOT BE RETOLD THE NOLAN WAY. Except for the elaborate detailing of the pilot's sojourn to the space (much of it was seen in the movie Gravity three dimensionally), Interstellar is worth the watch.So what am I going to write about? Only my takeaways from the movie.

Picture Courtesy: sciencefiction.com

THE HINDU dated November 16, 2014, published an interview of Dan Brown, author of The Da Vinci Code and other bestselling novels. Here is an excerpt from it.

It is a way to live that he imbibed early in his life from his organist mother. His father was a mathematician. He recalls living with two different streams under one roof. “Science and religion always coexisted at home. It was like having two cars in my garage — one of the church with all the attendant beliefs; the other of logic, reason and maths. I had to balance the two. Initially, I was very close to my mother but, as I grew up, I started to question Noah’s Ark, the Adam and Eve story. I kind of started understanding my father more. However, the more questions I asked of science, the more religious it seemed to become. As a result, I ended up where I started!”


This describes exactly how I felt after watching the movie. Theoretical physics seems only like ratification of religious beliefs through mathematical models. For instance, the protagonist Cooper, in the movie names his daughter Murph, after the Murphy's law which states that 'Anything that can go wrong will go wrong'. Isn't that what we call FATE precisely?

When the movie suggests of the possibility of aliens initially but later brings it down to future beings of our own species who exist defying gravity if not time, I cannot control but think of REBIRTH AND THE SURVIVAL OF SOUL AFTER DEATH. If it will be possible for explorers to hibernate for decades without food and water, then it must have been possible for sages and saints to meditate for years.

Picture Courtesy:quotesvalley.com

Cooper desperately tries through a black hole,to push his daughter to stop him from letting her father, himself, go on his mission to the space.TARS, the robot reminds him that they were not there to alter the past. And that is KARMA, past actions of an individual influencing his/her future. Also, when he firmly believes in the reciprocation of his daughter's love to decode his communications and his daughter trusting his father to keep up his promise of returning, it melts down to the Biblical saying 'FAITH MOVES MOUNTAINS'.

I am not a very religious person but of late I have come to believe that our customs and practices did have a meaning in them. Sadly, that meaning was not passed over resulting in the questioning of its relevance in the modern contexts.

As for the true message of the movie, there was only one man who understood and even demonstrated it, to the audience in the movie theatre, and that was MY MAN! The movie lacked dance numbers, romantic music, overreacting expressive actors, all those elements that could have interested my four-and-a-half year-old daughter. So she had to pee to escape the boredom, not once or twice but four times during the two-and-a-half hour show. The father, an ardent lover of astrophysics, accompanied her. Message from the movie? The prime responsibility of a parent is to provide a secure environment for the child without fears of the future.

NATURE FOR AN EIGHT YEAR OLD

My friend wanted me to write a poem on nature for her 3rd grade daughter's school assignment. As I had barely a few minutes to do this (she had to memorize and recite it as well), I was not sure how much can a child say about nature. So here it is, nature, from an 8 year old's view.

Picture courtesy: http://www.clker.com

NATURE

My dear trees, oceans, mountains,

Please pause for a moment to hear my concerns.

Grandfather says it is'nt raining as it used to, these days;

Neighbour uncle worries about the scorching heat waves;

I know not what they mean,

But I understand, what is now is'nt like what had been.

Mother tells about the small chirping morning sparrows,

Which I have seen, only in library books that I borrow.

Father talks about dwindling numbers of tigers,

For me,  a mere comparison of facts and figures.

 

We must nurture our nature,

Says my teacher.

I promise to keep you clean, green and in tact my dears,

Donot make me mumble over your absence, in my later years.

The break

I know I was out of blogging for a long time and that too without the slightest botheration to see if my blog really exists still. But no regrets this time.

 My cook had fallen sick and did not turn up since December. I had to experiment on a daily basis and guess what, I started to fall in love with the much dreaded art of cooking. My older posts on culinary experiments will tell you how much I fear mathematics and cooking, though I know I am not bad but only lack interest in them. From starters to stuffed parathas, chutneys to cakes,  I tried them all and fared above expectations. Apart from that, a few home town visits, friends get-together and that's it.

Moreover, the winter ensured I was not going to stay awake after mid night to go back to my blog.
So now that spring has started spreading its smile, I am feeling better and waiting to write more of all that I had missed in the last three months.

Meanwhile, there are a few interesting incidents that I felt like sharing.  See if these random three interests you.

1. I have this quirky habit of observing people and playing the guess-their-ethnicity game. No, don't mistake me for a racist or being judgmental. I only try understanding similar patterns among people of particular regions and try reasoning them out. For instance, when Malayalis use 'b' in the place of 'p' or Tamilians conveniently substitute 'aa' for 'ae', its because of the lack of these phonetic alphabets in their mother tongues. You get me now? I also try guessing their place of origin through common predominant physical features. I am sure many women are ace at it. The other day while watching a movie, there was a foreigner passing by next to the hero and I yelled "he's french!" My husband stared and started laughing loudly. I thought to myself, was I going overboard in guessing?!

2. Childhood secrets were the most surprising, at the same time most sincerely kept ones. We listened with pleasure to the hushed whispers and pretended to ignore those that were not shared, though secretly we wished to be part of that serious secret business. Today when I told my daughter not to play in sand with her friend, they nodded and mumbled to each other, "Dont tell aloud. Use the code word". Five-year-olds using CODE WORDS?? The tech era  has no secrets to unravel but only codes to decipher, I realized.

3. After a very long time, I awed at the sight of a puppy. As a child, I was crazy of them. Years of grooming and taming ( I meant myself) taught me to think about hygiene, dangers of dog bites and so on before touching puppies. More now, I was afraid of infections that could pass over to my family. The madness was lost. I could not believe the child in me was back for a few seconds. Do we think way too far to feel guilty of enjoying today's little joys, be it pets, rain or chocolate? I am still wondering.

 “For in every adult there dwells the child that was, and in every child there lies the adult that will be.”
― John Connolly, The Book of Lost Things

 Keep pondering until the next post, sitting back sipping your cup of tea on this spring day.


Picture courtesy: http://imgarcade.com 

Diwali delights

It is better to lead from behind and to put others in front, especially when you celebrate victory when nice things occur. You take the front line when there is danger. Then people will appreciate your leadership.

Nelson Mandela

This diwali season was busier than usual for two reasons: travel and guests. Mumbai beckoned us and we could not resist visiting the city weeks before diwali. Along came our parents and sibling after the visit. Shopping and people, do I need more to celebrate a festival?

After the guests had left, there was hardly a gap of 4 days for diwali and we had not heard anything about  diwali celebration in the apartment. The interest and unity among the residents had decreased year on year and now had almost reached saturation. I was too tired to ask for anything until my neighbor dropped into my house. "vaishnavi, what are doing this time for diwali ? ", she asked. "no idea" I shrugged. All were aware of the indifference in the apartment functioning and the new manager did little to improve it.

For the last five years, I had been actively involved  in the organizing of diwali celebration and now if it had to happen, I had to start it all alone. My energy levels had drained in the last few weeks but one question was sufficient to ponder over and begin with the preparations. What is the point of staying in a community and not getting together even once in a year? I decided to give it a try.

A message to all known apartment friends asking them to assemble for a meeting to decide on diwali celebration was sent. A word with the association treasurer made it clear that funds can be utilized to certain extent though nobody is ready to take it forward. Around 10 of us gathered and discussed. 5 of us took responsibilities for fund mobilization, gift purchasing, food arrangements and so on. I had to collect funds and make the seating and sound arrangements. For purchasing crackers, we needed men volunteers. I requested my husband to join another neighbor and he obliged despite being annoyed for not being able to go to our home town this diwali. Every volunteer did their part sincerely.

Diwali arrived and I was tensed as the celebration had to go as planned. We had  ball passing game for kids, balloon bursting game for men, gift snatching game for women and tombola for all. A full-fledged meal arrived and we happily gobbled it. Crackers were bursted and thus the day ended as expected.

Image : wikipedia

This time, I felt the need to propose a vote of thanks. With due credits, the organizers were applauded. Also, the need to attend meetings and discuss issues was stressed. I felt a sense of satisfaction at the end of the day. Here is a small thought shared on celebrations.

Festivals were meant for sharing and caring,
As we needed a reason to celebrate living.

Sweets, gifts and diwali lights,
To Those stressed souls come as delights.

What is the purpose of remembering traditions
If one cannot respect and reciprocate others' emotions?

After all, isn't it time we opened our doors to let light enter?
Isn't it time we broadened our minds for a bigger shelter?

Come, let us get together,
If not today, then it is never!

Sop in shopping 2030

Trends in shopping have evolved over time, keeping pace with changes in tastes and technology.
The advent of electronic media paved way to smart shopping trends such as online shopping and home deliveries. What next is the question that beseech marketers. Here are a few probabilities that could take shape in the future of shopping some seventeen years down the lane.

• Vending machines: The usage of vending machines in India has been primarily limited to CVMs  ie. Coffee Vending Machines, Condom Vending Machines or Cash vending Automated Teller Machines. Though vending machines are available for various products across the world such as the bicycle tubes vending machine in Germany or the book vending machine in the United Kingdom, it has not been very successful everywhere. If CVMs are possible, then there could be AVMs, BVMs, extending upto ZVMs, right? An improvisation would be Brand Vending Machines.

Rice Vending Machine in Japan

         Suppose every brand, like the banks, maintain accounts of customers pertaining to their purchases. If I am in urgent need of product X of brand Y, I could use the brand's vending machines located in different places and purchase using the brand card. Adding to it, the proposed technology by experts in the field such as Cisco where virtual product trial is possible could make it more attractive.Installation of Artificial Intelligence systems to track down the products used by celebrities of your choice and those that could suit your personality could be an added advantage.

• Customised entertainment: We live in an entertainment era, seeking fun and frolic in all our activities. Play schools, office outings, video games, 4d theaters are all a result of this need. Product and service customization are common today. Moving one step forward, entertainment could equally be customized. I could experiment with listening to Justin Bieber singing 'why this kolaveri' or Madonna shaking to 'Jalebi bai' with the help of technology. Also, one could gift entertainment vouchers where celebrities would exclusively perform to personal favorites. For instance, the famous magician Dynamo might perform exclusively on a virtual platform to YOU (of course at a cost)!

Why this Kolaveri?!!

Portable homes: The boom in realty sector coupled with the availability of amenities inside the gated communities made people feel the need to buy flats. Builders marketed their houses as situated in the heart of the city or with advanced amenities such as shopping malls, swimming pools, sports clubs inside the community. Still, we wanted more options. Now, instead of making all the facilities fixed inside your house, how would you like being transported along with your home to the place of your choice?

                                           Home Home Go Away, Come Again Another Day!

The concept of portable homes is not new. The oldest mobile home dates back to the 1950s. Because of non-durability and other factors, it was not an option considered by many. But today, our busy lives and the craving for variety in every aspect of lifestyle choices could make it a hit.
Imagine it is the end of the financial year and you are forced to stay in office for days. The better option could be shifting your house near to you place of work. The long annual holidays leave you and your kid feel bored. Why not shift the house adjacent to the best park in the city? And when it is shopping season raining discounts everywhere, wouldn't the women love to shift themselves closer to the shopping centers? However, this involves consideration of many aspects such as space allocation based on demand and pricing,on seasonal basis.


These are only a few possibilities that could bring about a radical change in the way we shop in 2030. Inventions and constant innovations in technology may provide more opportunities to cater to the shopping needs of the people. One thing is for sure, the need for more will never fade thereby welcoming all positive paradigm shifts in shopping trends.

Image courtesy : wikipedia

This post is written for 'The future of shopping' contest by Indiblogger, in association with ebay.in.

Games children played

The playing adult steps sideward into another reality; the playing child advances forward to new stages of mastery.

Erik H. Erikson

American psychoanalyst

I know I am a bit late in posting this article as the summer vacation for kids is almost over, but this compilation of games children played two decades ago as observed by me, might help you find different ways to engage your kid.

I myself find it tough to keep my 3-year-old busy, sigh. However, as a kid I was more creative and enthusiastic in indulging myself in self-play and engaging my fellow friends (I seriously admit to have lost most of my innovative thinking and innocence as I grew up:( ). Here are a few things we did during our holidays:

I. Indoor fun: Due to the hot weather, most of our day time was spent indoors doing the following.

. Board games - The board games played today existed then as well. Business/trade (better known as monopoly today), Snake and ladder, chess were some of them. The twist lied in one important aspect - not all of us owned one, so we made our own board game with crayons and sketch pens. Every kid added their unique places in monopoly and colorful snakes, making it more interesting.

. Greeting card making - My school used to teach us make greeting cards with different materials and
we always shared them with the neighbourhood friends of other schools. During Diwali,New year, 
birthdays, we ensured to make our own cards and surprise friends and parents by keeping them in their cupboards. Out of over-enthusiasm, I once threw the greeting card through the closed doors of a neighbor who had gone on a holiday, hoping to surprise her on her returning a week later. I was dissappointed and she embarrassed, when we found the card in the dustbin the next week :(. Couresy - Her over-enthusiastic maid on the attempt of impressing her masters with a spic and span house had done it!

SAY IT WITH YOUR OWN CARD

IMAGE COURTESY : http://doodlegum.com

.Other games - Hangman, Name-place-animal-thing, word crocodile , anthakshari, dumb charades, quiz were the other games played. We decided on the game to be played based on majority of votes.

II. Outdoor fun: We did not stay in an apartment. Still, the streets which were not traffic prone were our playgrounds. The following games were played by us with great excitement.

. Color color - The thief who comes in search of colorful jewellery spells out a color after which we run to touch objects of that color befor he catches us. At times,it was a fair game. Some times when we were bored, we would agree to play pranks on the catcher. For instance, when he shouts black, we run towards him much to his confusion, and pull his hair in all directions :)

. Pair game - The kids are supposed to pair themselves in numbers called out by the leader and the one who doesnot pair himself before being caught is out.

.stone or sand - Popularly known as kalla manna in Tamil, children stand near the gates of houses. They must go to the house which the leader tells. He can catch you as long as you are in the sand ie., the road. You must run to reach the gates of the house told, as a group, at your full speed.

NONDI AATTAM

IMAGE COURTESY : www.traditionalgames.in

.Other games - Apart from these,some of the other games played include hide and seek, lock and key, skipping, throw ball, flying kites, marble game, top game and paandiaattam/nondiaattam .

Children learn faster from children than adults. It is important to nurture their growth in their natural play. A request to today's mothers - Let them learn to make mistakes while playing with their friends.
 You may be your child's guardian, but he/she has to co-exist with those kids after a while when you may not be there to direct him/her.

The end

"It will be over before your ad break", pleaded hubby as I stopped at Sony Max when I was flipping between the final over of a not-so-interesting IPL match and the climax of an unheard old movie. It was only then did my grey cells start setting to think hard on how obsessive we were to know THE END of anything and everything. More importantly, it is the result that matters irrespective of performance.


As suggested in a Tamil movie, in a race, the winner is one who reaches the end line first, not the one who leaves the start line first. Similarly in examinations, the highest scorer in the final exam is deemed to be the most brilliant student irrespective of the year-long performances. We are judged based on the end result. If so, what is the plight of a person who had put his maximum efforts all his time but couldnot perform adequately on d-day due to unforeseen circumstances? What if a director had spun an exciting plot with interesting characters but made a mistake in presenting the perfect climax? Sadly, these people are neglected by the society.


Maybe they are equally responsible for their failures in life. A certain level of smartness is required surely. Ramanujan could get recognized for his mathematical contributions because of his network of professors and friends. Shakunthala Devi was not that fortunate. Anna Hazare could gain media attention by roping in eminent personalities in various fields for his cause. Irom Sharmila has not learnt it yet.


If you think they were not smart, wait a minute. Had we learnt the techniques used for rapid mathematical calculations from Shakunthala or strongly supported the fight against AFSPA with Sharmila, our country would have had much more acceptance in the global arena. WE are the ones who lacked the smartness to harness our resources.


Having said all that, I would consider success not in terms of the goals achieved but in terms of the tough fight fought. It is not just the destination but the journey with memorable moments and learnings for generations to come that would make our short stay in this planet worthwhile.

Singapore, Malaysia, India

Last week, we had been on a holiday to Singapore and Malaysia, my first visit abroad. Also, it was my first flight journey. When the flight took off from the runway, my joy knew no boundaries. I kept looking down to ensure that I was in the sky literally. Moreover, the sight of sunrise made my journey more memorable. It was an exhilarating experience to witness the changeover from night to day.

THE CHANGEOVER AS CLICKED WITH MY CAMERA

As my experiences are plenty to share, I felt that they could be shared under different posts. In this post, I would like to reflect upon the people and culture of Singapore and Malaysia, as against India. Being an Indian, let me point out the facts that made me feel proud to be in India than elsewhere.

|. BANNED PUBLIC SMOKING : Ever since public smoking was banned in 2008, the chances of passive smoking was drastically reduced. Only when I inhaled second-hand smoke in Singapore and Malaysia, did I realize the boon of banned public smoking in India.

NO SMOKING

PICTURE COURTESY: wikipedia.org

||. VEGETARIAN DIET : Statistics have proven that consumption of fruits and vegetables are more healthier compared to a non-vegetarian diet. Health benefits of such a vegetarian diet are numerous. Being a person who cannot eat non-veg barring chicken and fish (if cooked properly), I found it difficult to find a veg item in the restaurants abroad. I was astonished to learn that India was the first country where Mc Donald's does not offer any beef or pork item and has developed a special menu with vegetarian selections to suite the Indian palate. The retail food giant has specially re-engineered it's operations to separate veg and non-veg food processing.

INDIAN VEGETARIAN DIET

PICTURE COURTESY : http://sbioak.org

Now, it's time to pinpoint the merits of Singapore and Malaysia over India.

|. CULTURAL DIVERSITY : India boasts itself to be a country of cultural diversity. We claim to be united despite our differences. However, the religious and cultural tolerances of people have come down significantly over the last few years. Various incidents have occurred to prove this statement. Singapore, on the other hand, as a country inhabited by migrants a few centuries back, has a rich and diverse population. Most importantly, every person respects the religious sentiments and beliefs of other citizens.

DIFFERENT RACES, ONE COUNTRY

PIC COURTESY: goingplaces.sg

The sight of Indian woman wearing gold jewellery with jeans or Malay Muslims wearing burqa with western wear is common there. Whereas in India, we ape western culture and consider clothing and language to be the only way of expressing modernity. Anyone wearing traditional attire or talking local language is never respected.

THE PEOPLE

PICTURE COUTESY: voyage99.com

The Indian government also fails to recognize the importance of ethnic identity and tries to promote a single language, Hindi, despite the fact that some of the other languages are more primitive and considered classics. When Tamilnadu opposed Hindi in schools in the mid 1960s, the state was totally sidelined. I was unhappy when I moved to Bangalore and found it difficult to speak in Hindi. Today, I feel proud that my state helped me learn Tamil because of which my identity has not been disrupted totally. Other languages can be learnt anytime but it is important to know one's mother tongue.
In Singapore, the first language is English and the second language is one's mother tongue which is either Chinese, Malay or Tamil. When I heard Muniyandi,Nathan,Kalai,Velan, who had been Singaporeans/Malaysians for about three generations speak Tamil in an impeccable manner, I was surprised. They were happy to be Singaporeans and Malaysians, as well as Tamilians.

||. ADHERENCE TO RULES: Singapore is a country well known for its discipline. The people are punctual and 9am is always 8:55 am and never later than the prescribed time. Also, the traffic rules were strictly adhered to by the citizens. People had the patience to wait for their turn. Malaysia was truly Asia in this sense. I guess you got my point:) Yes, the traffic was similar to that of Bangalore.

CARS ON ROAD AT SINGAPORE

PICTURE COURTESY: traffictechnologytoday.com

Having discussed the differences, I am sure there is a strong need for us to inculcate self-esteem through our value systems without blindly following the west. If done so, there are chances for us to regain our lost self sufficiency and global competency in the coming years.

காலம் கற்றுக்கொடுத்தது

பெற்றோர் ஆசிரியர் சந்திப்பிற்காக
பாப்பாவின் பள்ளிக்குச் சென்றிருந்தேன்.
ஆர்வமாய் ஆயாக்காவை சுட்டிக்காட்டி
"இதுதான் காளியம்மா " என்றாள்.
சிரித்த முகமாய் இருந்த காளியம்மவைப்
பார்த்து புன்னகைக்க நினைத்த போடு
சிக்கலான எண்ணம் தோன்றியது.
பண்டிகையைக் காரணம் காட்டி
பணம் கேட்டு விடுவாளோ?!
இருபத்தைந்து வருட வாழ்க்கை அனுபவம்
எல்லோரையும் சந்தேகப்படு என்பதைத்தானா
கற்றுக்கொடுத்தது ?
விடை தெரியாமல் வெட்கித் தலை குனிந்தேன்.


- வைஷ்ணவி பிரசாத்

இடம் பெயர்தல்

Painting by S.Ilayaraja
Pic courtesy: alraja.blogspot.in

இறுக்கமான முகத்தை தவிர்த்து
இதழ்கள் விரித்து சிரிக்க வேண்டும்

சுடிதாருக்கு துப்பட்டாவும்
சுருட்டை முடிக்கு சீயக்காயும்
போட வேண்டும்

ஆற்றுத் தண்ணீரை அடுப்பில் வைத்து
ஆரிய பின் குடிக்க வேண்டும்

பக்கத்து வீட்டுக்காரருடன்
பேசிப் பழக வேண்டும்

பிழைக்க நகரம் வந்த எனக்கு
விடுமுறைக்கு ஊருக்குத் திரும்ப
பயமாக இருக்கிறது,

நான் மீண்டும்
நானாக மாற வேண்டுமே...



- வைஷ்ணவி பிரசாத்

Where is the solution?

The recent gang rape in a moving bus in Delhi has reverberated shock waves across the country. There are a few points to ponder in this regard.

I. When the media flashed the news of gang rape, there was one particular point stressed by the reporters continuously. It has happened to a college student in the capital city of our country, DELHI, and that too in one of the busiest areas. The take away for the audience - it can happen in a remote village to a dalit but how do we digest such a crime otherwise. No, I am neither an anti feminist nor a communist but only trying to decipher the reason behind a biased projection of reality.

II. The parliament demonstrated immense drama once again with a few opposition party politicians demanding justice and some artist stating guilt for her helplessness despite being an MP. It was all for a day, as always.

Image courtesy : niticentral.com

III. At times, we seem to go overboard by carrying slogans such as 'don't teach your sons to rape but respect women' or 'don't tell us how to dress up but tell them not to rape'. We must remember that none of the parents preach antisocial activities to their children or support them in such ventures. Take the case of traveling by train. There are posters stuck all over the railway station requesting the passengers to wear lesser jewellery and carry minimal cash to avoid thefts. We judiciously act by doing so. Do we question the authorities as to who they are to tell us not to wear jewellery or carry cash? It is the duty of the government to protect our safety, agreed. However, at the end of the day, isn't it wise to be proactive than pass on the reactive solution to them? Sometimes, we have to read between the lines and try to understand the true meaning intended by the speaker. The reason for our politicians for not voicing their opinions in such situations is the fear of being cornered or twisted for all that they say.

IV. Consideration of capital punishment for rape will not help reduce its occurrence but only aggravate for one strong reason - most of the rape accused are relatives or friends of the victim. The accused could the breadwinner of the family. His loss will mean a lot. As suggested by the author of an article published in The Hindu (name forgotten)recently,reporting of rape cases might reduce in such case.

Our society has a long way to go in becoming modern, in the true sense. We need laws to safeguard the rights of all sections of the society and yes, much better ways to ensure their execution. Until then, it is always wiser to seek justice in a manner of invoking prompt action rather than provoking extreme emotions.

Why should men have all the fun?

Everyday, there are loads of jokes on Facebook about married vs unmarried, especially by men. And not forgetting to mention, the duel between the inhabitants of Mars and Venus, a perennial debate pops up, as well.

Though some of them make you smile, there are some that irks you. Initially I reacted to such so-called jokes, later ignored and now felt the need to share some humour, from the women's purview. I am sure, men who are said to possess better humor sense than women, would take it on a lighter note.

The popular hell joke where the deceased is given an opportunity to see hell and heaven before choosing between the two, led to the below thought, from the the first time I came across it in the mail.
The fun-filled environment in hell makes the decease instantly choose hell even without seeing heaven. The next day, the inmates of hell pose a dull face and do difficult tasks. When questioned, the deceased is told "yesterday you were an interviewee and had to be recruited. Today you are an employee."
Here goes my version:

The formal bride-seeing ceremony is over and all are satisfied. The bride is praised for her beauty, responsible behavior, knowledge and what not. Her ignorance in the department of household chores doesnot sound that bad. The couple tie the knot.
The next day of marriage, she wakes up from bed only to see the family members waiting to give their orders. Even before she brushes her teeth she is thrusted with a broom and asked to clean the first night decorations in the room. The perplexed bride hesitantly asks," but aunty, you said I can do all these once I am comfortable with the new atmosphere?"
The groom's mother replies with a smile," oh yes, that was to make you feel at home. You see, you were your parents daughter till yesterday; now you are my daughter-in-law."

There is no language better than your mother tongue to express strong feelings from the heart. Given below is one such thought in Tamil:

மீன் வருக்க மசாலா தடவும்போதேல்லாம், என் அம்மா, திருமணத்திற்கு எனக்கு போட்ட மருதாணி ஞாபகம் வருகிறது - வசீகரிக்கும் அழகு, வருத்தெடுப்பதர்க்கு முன்!

(while applying masala for fish fry, I am reminded of my mother helping me with mehendi before marriage - beautification before mortification!)

Folks, this is purely fun not meant at hurting your hearts but to burst your bellies by laughing, as I know there is no other better way of helping you reduce your hip sizes to fit into your favorite jeans!

Keep laughing!

TO WOO MEN...

He cleans and cuts vegetables while I cook;
He engages the child while I get her food;
He pays the bills before due date while I go for a FB status update;
He wakes up early for the promised weekend outing while I extend my usual hours of sleeping;

For all the freedom favoured,
For all the independence inhaled,
It's time to tell today's men,
Thank you, thank you, thank you once again!!!






Note: Belated women's day greetings and message

Am I joking?

I have always wondered why women were tagged as having little sense of humor despite their ability to break into a roar of laughter at the slightest provocation. The recent watching a of television commercial set me into action to probe further.

The teenager in the ad is cosy with her sanitary napkin at all times, be it the ritual of Indian bride- bridegroom meeting before marriage or a photo screening prior marriage. she terms the latter 'window shopping' and I couldnot resist my lips curving into a smile. When I shared it with men in my family, I found no response. Later I realized that most of the humor we come across are usually meant at women, for men, and not the other way round. Here are some interesting facts on this gender difference in humor:


I. Eric Bressler, a graduate student at McMaster University who is studying the role of humour in personal attraction, discovered in a survey of 150 students that to a woman, "sense of humour" means someone who makes her laugh; to a man, a sense of humour means someone who appreciates his jokes.


II. Women choose men who produce humour 62 per cent of the time; conversely, men choose women who appreciate their humour 65 per cent of the time."

III. One of the reasons why men don't like female comedians may be that humour is seen as a masculine thing.



As Mark Twain had stated, humor is tragedy plus time. We either laugh at somebody's misery or missed opportunity. So it is important to ensure that it is not evoked at the wrong person, at the wrong place or at the wrong time. I am reminded of the Tamil poet Vairamuthu's verse on humor which reasons out the misplacement of humor sense for the birth of Ramayana and Mahabharatha. Ramayana was born because of the inability of Kaikeyi to smile and take things at a lighter side when Rama was to succeed the throne, while Mahabharatha was the result of Draupadi laughing at Duryodhana when he slips and falls down.
To read the full poem, click on the link: http://kezhil.blogspot.in/2010/11/vairamuthu-sirippu.html


You are doomed for life if you cannot laugh at the right joke or forgetfully smile at the wrong one.. How true!

Be it whatever, I feel that we all need to agree with Mahatma Gandhi's quote on humor which goes so:

“If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.”