As beautiful as your work

She sees a three-year-old waving good-bye to her parents with tear-filled eyes. Instantly, she picks up the little girl and takes her inside the classroom. Finding a boy punished for hitting his friend, she enquires the class teacher in a serious tone about the incident. Meanwhile, the attender hands her a cup of tea. " Dandapani annae, innoru glass kondu vaanga" (Brother Dandapani, get another glass of tea) she tells. Dandapani nods.

 Out of the 3000 odd students, 50 odd teachers and support staffs, she not only remembers most of their names but also their backgrounds. No wonder, she is the winner of the best teacher award for several years in the state apart from the women achiever award et al  . SHE is Mrs.Premalatha Panneerselvam, Principal of my school.

Beloved Madam Principal Premalatha Panneerselvam

Image courtesy:hindu.com

Draped in a cotton saree, sporting a red bindi in her forehead, Premalatha madam was a motherly figure to us. Every morning, there used to be a story read or incident shared to teach us about values."The true purpose of education is to refine oneself" was one of her favorite quotes. Her school provides 'wholesome education' according to her. It has helped thousands of students like me to go beyond the text books.

She never fails to warn her students of their safety by saying a big no to riding bikes prior to the recommended age. She also goes to the height of taking the naughty ones to her home so as to ensure that they learn to behave well and concentrate on academics.

Her kindness did pass over to the other teachers as well. Melinda mam who held preschoolers in her hip and fed food, Lakshmi mam who shared her lunch to the ones who had forgotten to carry theirs, Saro mam who helps solve problems of the adolescents, Rosy man who wishes her old students even before they recognize her, the list goes endless.

Dear mam, your beautiful smile, that stern look when things go wrong and the warm hug to console the disturbed minds, you are as beautiful as your work!!!

This post is written as an entry for Tanishq Mia As Beautiful As Your Work contest hosted by women's web.

Celebrating life

It was wedding season last month in my family. We had a cousin's wedding, another cousin's engagement, a distant relative's wedding and my brother-in-law's wedding. After 5 years of married life, I was enjoying the marriage preparations once again, in fact, with lesser tension and more involvement this time.

Weddings have always been an exciting event for me right from my childhood. Reason one, I liked dressing up for social gatherings and reason two, I liked watching people and talking to them. This time, I was glad I could indulge myself entirely in both these tasks.

Here I go dressed up neatly for a wedding...

Introspecting further on the big Indian weddings, I realized it is not the union of two hearts or even two families alone as suggested by Chetan Bhagat in his book '2 states', but the union of many more souls. Marriages mend strained relationships, bring together broken families and serve as the source of new bondings. Relatives relate to each other, friends get together, children play with each other and couples relish on their wedding memories. Despite the huge expenses and a few bitter experiences with the all-time-complainers, the hosts feel contended after a wedding ceremony.

When people comment on the big fat weddings as wastes of resources, we need to stop and think for a while. How often do we sit together and talk as families about a common purpose? How many times have we taken our relatives to a restaurant and treated them wholeheartedly? When was the last time we had seen our cousins who once were closer than our parents and siblings? What have we gifted to our uncles and aunts without whose support our parents could not have brought us up to this extent? Our metro lives teach us to spend time and money with friends, even save some for charitable purposes. Sadly, we have forgotten our own people in home towns who need our support in some way.

Now I have made up my mind to witness wedding ceremonies and wish not just the couple a blissful beginning, but the entire lot over there, a lovely restart of their remarkable journeys!

YOU AND ME

Image courtesy:9to5hdwallpapers.com

A nonchalant you,
An over-excited me;
A pragmatic you,
A nostalgic me.

When the monotonous life yearns for a break,
When the merry-loving me goes for a trek,
I wait for the down-to-earth you,
To look forward to give back my due.

As you are you and I am me,
I realize its my duty to fill your heart with glee;
Therefore back I am, the emotional me,
Not waiting anymore, you see.

A nonchalant you,
An over-excited me;
A pragmatic you,
A nostalgic me.

Abroad

" How many times do I tell you to beware of your spellings? Though you seem to have understood the concept, you are not able to express it in proper English". Jenny mam sounded serious this time.

"Cool down mam, I will manage it in the public exam. You not worry." Arun was all smiles without the slightest feel of remorse or fear.

We girls were giggling at his words. "Hey, dont laugh. This is abroad english. you not understand."
This time, Arun was serious and Jenny mam had to try hard controlling herself from smiling.

Abroad Arun, as we fondly call him, was my classmate  in 12th standard (PUC). He joined our school after his SSLC from a government school. This cool guy never got tensed. And he knew the knack of handling anybody at any point of time. I was a fan of his sense of humor and timely wit.

On the last day of school, we were exchanging slam books. Arun returned mine and I found the 'ambition in life' column left empty. I pointed it to him. In a hushed tone, he said, "you know what, dont share future plan with others. It wont happen. Because you are one of my best friends, I tell you. My ambition is to go abroad." He smiled.  Amateur kid, I pitied.

Seven years later, I was busy with my marriage preparations. To all those not so close, I had sent the invite through orkut, the social networking site that was popular, then. On the eve of my wedding, I got a call from an unknown number.

"Congrats Vaishnavi! I reached India yesterday. I will be coming there in a few minutes". The voice sounded familiar. But I could not remember. "Hey, dont remember still? This is abroad Arun", came the response. I was surprised. Being in the midst of the photo session, his words did not sink into my head.

After a few hours, my school friends came and along came Arun with a big gift and a broader smile.
He told he was working in a pizza outlet in London. Still the same naughty fellow, I thought. Nasira interrupted me. He was right. I was perplexed. How did he go to London? He could not speak a sentence in English correctly. His father, a simple cloth bag manufacturer could not have afforded it either.

Nasira explained it to me. During his college days, he had worked part-time, involving himself in a range of activities such as delivering newspapers, selling insurance policies, typing assignments and even going for election rallies. He had saved the money earned, attended spoken English class and had gone to London, his life ambition.

He might not have studied hard and earned a great job. He might not have purchased properties in his name. But for a person like Arun, going abroad in itself was a dream and he had realized it.

Today, his facebook status was updated.

 'Promoted as a branch manager. Am very happy".
His profile picture was changed. Arun was standing near the Big Ben with his wife and one-year-old daughter, and yes, with a big broad smile as usual. I smiled.

I wish to get my story published in Chicken Soup for the Indian Entrepreneurs Soul in association with BlogAdda.com

Games children played

The playing adult steps sideward into another reality; the playing child advances forward to new stages of mastery.

Erik H. Erikson

American psychoanalyst

I know I am a bit late in posting this article as the summer vacation for kids is almost over, but this compilation of games children played two decades ago as observed by me, might help you find different ways to engage your kid.

I myself find it tough to keep my 3-year-old busy, sigh. However, as a kid I was more creative and enthusiastic in indulging myself in self-play and engaging my fellow friends (I seriously admit to have lost most of my innovative thinking and innocence as I grew up:( ). Here are a few things we did during our holidays:

I. Indoor fun: Due to the hot weather, most of our day time was spent indoors doing the following.

. Board games - The board games played today existed then as well. Business/trade (better known as monopoly today), Snake and ladder, chess were some of them. The twist lied in one important aspect - not all of us owned one, so we made our own board game with crayons and sketch pens. Every kid added their unique places in monopoly and colorful snakes, making it more interesting.

. Greeting card making - My school used to teach us make greeting cards with different materials and
we always shared them with the neighbourhood friends of other schools. During Diwali,New year, 
birthdays, we ensured to make our own cards and surprise friends and parents by keeping them in their cupboards. Out of over-enthusiasm, I once threw the greeting card through the closed doors of a neighbor who had gone on a holiday, hoping to surprise her on her returning a week later. I was dissappointed and she embarrassed, when we found the card in the dustbin the next week :(. Couresy - Her over-enthusiastic maid on the attempt of impressing her masters with a spic and span house had done it!

SAY IT WITH YOUR OWN CARD

IMAGE COURTESY : http://doodlegum.com

.Other games - Hangman, Name-place-animal-thing, word crocodile , anthakshari, dumb charades, quiz were the other games played. We decided on the game to be played based on majority of votes.

II. Outdoor fun: We did not stay in an apartment. Still, the streets which were not traffic prone were our playgrounds. The following games were played by us with great excitement.

. Color color - The thief who comes in search of colorful jewellery spells out a color after which we run to touch objects of that color befor he catches us. At times,it was a fair game. Some times when we were bored, we would agree to play pranks on the catcher. For instance, when he shouts black, we run towards him much to his confusion, and pull his hair in all directions :)

. Pair game - The kids are supposed to pair themselves in numbers called out by the leader and the one who doesnot pair himself before being caught is out.

.stone or sand - Popularly known as kalla manna in Tamil, children stand near the gates of houses. They must go to the house which the leader tells. He can catch you as long as you are in the sand ie., the road. You must run to reach the gates of the house told, as a group, at your full speed.

NONDI AATTAM

IMAGE COURTESY : www.traditionalgames.in

.Other games - Apart from these,some of the other games played include hide and seek, lock and key, skipping, throw ball, flying kites, marble game, top game and paandiaattam/nondiaattam .

Children learn faster from children than adults. It is important to nurture their growth in their natural play. A request to today's mothers - Let them learn to make mistakes while playing with their friends.
 You may be your child's guardian, but he/she has to co-exist with those kids after a while when you may not be there to direct him/her.

The end

"It will be over before your ad break", pleaded hubby as I stopped at Sony Max when I was flipping between the final over of a not-so-interesting IPL match and the climax of an unheard old movie. It was only then did my grey cells start setting to think hard on how obsessive we were to know THE END of anything and everything. More importantly, it is the result that matters irrespective of performance.


As suggested in a Tamil movie, in a race, the winner is one who reaches the end line first, not the one who leaves the start line first. Similarly in examinations, the highest scorer in the final exam is deemed to be the most brilliant student irrespective of the year-long performances. We are judged based on the end result. If so, what is the plight of a person who had put his maximum efforts all his time but couldnot perform adequately on d-day due to unforeseen circumstances? What if a director had spun an exciting plot with interesting characters but made a mistake in presenting the perfect climax? Sadly, these people are neglected by the society.


Maybe they are equally responsible for their failures in life. A certain level of smartness is required surely. Ramanujan could get recognized for his mathematical contributions because of his network of professors and friends. Shakunthala Devi was not that fortunate. Anna Hazare could gain media attention by roping in eminent personalities in various fields for his cause. Irom Sharmila has not learnt it yet.


If you think they were not smart, wait a minute. Had we learnt the techniques used for rapid mathematical calculations from Shakunthala or strongly supported the fight against AFSPA with Sharmila, our country would have had much more acceptance in the global arena. WE are the ones who lacked the smartness to harness our resources.


Having said all that, I would consider success not in terms of the goals achieved but in terms of the tough fight fought. It is not just the destination but the journey with memorable moments and learnings for generations to come that would make our short stay in this planet worthwhile.

Singapore, Malaysia, India

Last week, we had been on a holiday to Singapore and Malaysia, my first visit abroad. Also, it was my first flight journey. When the flight took off from the runway, my joy knew no boundaries. I kept looking down to ensure that I was in the sky literally. Moreover, the sight of sunrise made my journey more memorable. It was an exhilarating experience to witness the changeover from night to day.

THE CHANGEOVER AS CLICKED WITH MY CAMERA

As my experiences are plenty to share, I felt that they could be shared under different posts. In this post, I would like to reflect upon the people and culture of Singapore and Malaysia, as against India. Being an Indian, let me point out the facts that made me feel proud to be in India than elsewhere.

|. BANNED PUBLIC SMOKING : Ever since public smoking was banned in 2008, the chances of passive smoking was drastically reduced. Only when I inhaled second-hand smoke in Singapore and Malaysia, did I realize the boon of banned public smoking in India.

NO SMOKING

PICTURE COURTESY: wikipedia.org

||. VEGETARIAN DIET : Statistics have proven that consumption of fruits and vegetables are more healthier compared to a non-vegetarian diet. Health benefits of such a vegetarian diet are numerous. Being a person who cannot eat non-veg barring chicken and fish (if cooked properly), I found it difficult to find a veg item in the restaurants abroad. I was astonished to learn that India was the first country where Mc Donald's does not offer any beef or pork item and has developed a special menu with vegetarian selections to suite the Indian palate. The retail food giant has specially re-engineered it's operations to separate veg and non-veg food processing.

INDIAN VEGETARIAN DIET

PICTURE COURTESY : http://sbioak.org

Now, it's time to pinpoint the merits of Singapore and Malaysia over India.

|. CULTURAL DIVERSITY : India boasts itself to be a country of cultural diversity. We claim to be united despite our differences. However, the religious and cultural tolerances of people have come down significantly over the last few years. Various incidents have occurred to prove this statement. Singapore, on the other hand, as a country inhabited by migrants a few centuries back, has a rich and diverse population. Most importantly, every person respects the religious sentiments and beliefs of other citizens.

DIFFERENT RACES, ONE COUNTRY

PIC COURTESY: goingplaces.sg

The sight of Indian woman wearing gold jewellery with jeans or Malay Muslims wearing burqa with western wear is common there. Whereas in India, we ape western culture and consider clothing and language to be the only way of expressing modernity. Anyone wearing traditional attire or talking local language is never respected.

THE PEOPLE

PICTURE COUTESY: voyage99.com

The Indian government also fails to recognize the importance of ethnic identity and tries to promote a single language, Hindi, despite the fact that some of the other languages are more primitive and considered classics. When Tamilnadu opposed Hindi in schools in the mid 1960s, the state was totally sidelined. I was unhappy when I moved to Bangalore and found it difficult to speak in Hindi. Today, I feel proud that my state helped me learn Tamil because of which my identity has not been disrupted totally. Other languages can be learnt anytime but it is important to know one's mother tongue.
In Singapore, the first language is English and the second language is one's mother tongue which is either Chinese, Malay or Tamil. When I heard Muniyandi,Nathan,Kalai,Velan, who had been Singaporeans/Malaysians for about three generations speak Tamil in an impeccable manner, I was surprised. They were happy to be Singaporeans and Malaysians, as well as Tamilians.

||. ADHERENCE TO RULES: Singapore is a country well known for its discipline. The people are punctual and 9am is always 8:55 am and never later than the prescribed time. Also, the traffic rules were strictly adhered to by the citizens. People had the patience to wait for their turn. Malaysia was truly Asia in this sense. I guess you got my point:) Yes, the traffic was similar to that of Bangalore.

CARS ON ROAD AT SINGAPORE

PICTURE COURTESY: traffictechnologytoday.com

Having discussed the differences, I am sure there is a strong need for us to inculcate self-esteem through our value systems without blindly following the west. If done so, there are chances for us to regain our lost self sufficiency and global competency in the coming years.

Friends at home

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.

C. S. Lewis

My married life in bangalore had taught me many lessons of which the important one is to value friendship. Brought up as a home loving girl under the protection of parents, it took me some time to adjust and accept people as they are. More so when you are the odd one out. My apartment is primarily inhabitated by north Indians and imagine the plight of a conservative (atleast in dressing:) south indian there! Third language in school and chitrahar in doordarshan did little help. It was my mother tongue sourashtra that made it easier for me to learn the language faster. Today, I can understand hindi, speak fairly well and even manage to watch hindi movies.

February was my month to host kitty party at my house. To me, maths and cooking are alike in one aspect. I can do it if I must do it, not otherwise. That is, I am less passionate about them though if I attempt, I get through with good results if not great outcomes. I had been thinking hard day and night on the menu and games. Obviously the latter was easier to decide upon.

The D-Day did come and here goes my menu for the party:

*Lemon sharbath (Ondipuli brand from Madurai)

*Bovonto (Soft drink from Madurai)

*Malpuva

*Raw banana bajji bonda

*Idli

*Mix veg gravy with coconut milk

*Onion chutney

*Coconut chutney

*Tamarind rice

*Brown channa

*Soya chunks peas pulao

*Cucumber raita

*Plain rice

*Rasam

*Soya beans gravy

*Curd

*Ice cream

My friends loved the idlis and pulao. As for the games, we played dumb charades, making matchstick equations and word crocodile. The day ended with a hot cup of tea.


Making matchstick equations

I was pleased at my ability to host a party at home.

Thanks to my friends who made my day. For someone who wants a ear to hear her incessantly and be by her side during tough times, dears, you are simply awesome!